A living amends is not simply staying alive, and therefor not adding to the pain and suffering already inflicted on those close to you. That could be a part of it, but that is not the whole story. Making living amends can take on many different forms depending on the relationship living amends to those affected by the wrongdoing. In most cases, the offender owes apologies to the people closest to them, like their friends, parents, and children. One of the greatest regrets some people endure is not apologizing to a loved one for past wrongs before they die.

If you aren’t able to make direct amends, then you can volunteer your time or help someone else out. Making amends is more than just an apology, it’s changing your life around and changing your ways; eliminating the destructive behaviors that were once part of your life. Every person travels it differently, with unique experiences and opportunities. When a loved one is in recovery, they are working on their mind, body, and spiritual connection to themselves and others.

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While working step nine it’s really important to understand that the way thingsfeelis not necessarily the way thingsare. Because we are feeling afraid we assume that this means we truly have something to fear. To prepare for this step it’s a good idea to let go of all our expectations about how our amends will or should turn out. Living Amends is a non-profit dedicated to supporting men and women who are working towards long-term sobriety. We provide financial scholarships directly to sober living organizations for select candidates.

what are living amends

And some people in your life may not be receptive on your timeline. Communicating about the way you harmed others can evoke strong emotions. If you have devoted the necessary time and energy to the first 8 steps, you should have a solid foundation from which to approach making amends in Step 9. Your relationship with a higher power—no matter how you define it—can help you to remain open and willing, even as you acknowledge hard truths about pain you have caused to others. Address harm caused or intended and take full responsibility for negative behavior.

Step 9: The Best 5 Tips for Living Amends

However, that doesn’t mean you’ve failed at your new, honest and sober lifestyle. You can still be true to that by making an honest apology and not making excuses for why you didn’t follow through. Then, the next time around, make sure to make good on your word. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help. Call us or fill out our online contact form today to get started.

what are living amends

To fix broken relationships, you have to put a lot of effort into making things work. It’s not enough to say to someone that you apologize and feel badly for how you acted in the past. It takes a certain maturity and level of respect for yourself and the person you’re hoping to reconnect with to get past any past issues. Don’t keep apologizing repeatedly for your past mistakes. It’s possible that you made apologies over and over when you were using, so your loved ones have heard that before. Instead, stay focused on changing your behaviors and being of service to them.